Face It, Perception Really Is Reality When It Comes to Making an Impression

http://www.bostonherald.com/news/regional/view.bg?articleid=1061124136



So even though the morons quoted in that article apparently have no idea what the “Stand Your Ground” law is about, (like a lot of people sadly) they protest anyway saying they should be able to wear whatever they like without people judging them. It has absolutely nothing to do with the bill being proposed, but since it’s been brought it up, let’s talk about dress codes.

I figured out a long time ago that if I ever walked around the southern US in a white robe and cone hat that only allowed me to see out of two eye cutouts, it would get me in pretty hot water. I also knew pretty early that if I walked into a bank with a ski mask on, regardless of how cold it might have been outside, it too was going to get me in hot water. Would I have been stupid to do any of that? Of course I would’ve. Just as it would be stupid for me to go on a professional office job interview wearing shorts and flip-flops, or attending a funeral in pajamas and a baseball hat, or wearing a red swastika band ANYWHERE, or walking into Blood territory wearing Crip colors, it would be stupid of me to assume that no one would judge me based on how I appeared to them.

The truth is even if the people you are making an impression on wanted to keep an open mind, they couldn’t. Sizing someone up from their appearance is a subconscious behavior we can do little about. Sure we can alter the impression as we get to know the person, but what if you never get the chance to speak to any of them? Can’t change that impression now, can ya? Like it or not, what you wear tells the world something about who you are, and it ain’t always good.

As it has been for decades, the attitude is that “no one should care what I’m wearing” or “they should get to know me before they judge me on the way I look” and in a perfect world, you’d be right. Heck, I’m the poster child for this movement. If I can’t go to dinner in workbooks and jeans, it’s pretty safe to say I won’t be going to dinner, so I totally get being comfortable. But I also get that if I start wearing a lot of piercings, gold teeth, pants down around my thighs and sweatshirts 6 sizes too big, I’m going to be treated much differently than I do now. And rightfully so. Why? Because I just described to you what 99% of the people showing up on the news for murder, rape, prostitution, drug dealing and armed robbery are wearing. Like it or not, news sources (TV, Newspapers etc) are one of the places a lot of folk look to see what’s going on in the world. Since we pretty much see only the dregs of society getting arrested in their oversize urban street clothes, we tend to associate those clothes with people of that type. You don’t really see a lot of drug dealers, rapists and murderers getting arrested in 3 piece Armani suits and Gucci loafers, do ya? (Except for OJ) If that were the case, there would be a lot of people on Wall Street getting harassed by cops, now wouldn’t there?

All of that said, it still amazes me how many people will continue to allow their clothes do the talking for them. I see it in the courts, I see it in places of worship, I see it in professional business atmospheres as well as the local Dunkin Donuts. Apparently people don’t understand what covers 90% of our bodies says more about us then anything we could say. They also don’t seem to get that clothes make the biggest impact on a person’s initial impression of who we are. If as readers you don’t think so, let me let me ask you this; How many times have you looked at 6’4” ponytail wearing, goatee and scraggly bearded biker guy dressed in all Harley Davidson gear and assumed he wasn’t a Nuclear Physicist? Yeah…that’s what I thought. Most people won’t even approach that guy because their perception of what he might be like. Why is that? Why do we have that perception? Because we’ve allowed the media, movies/TV and even our own experiences with someone that looked similar influence us, that's why. And that is how that a perception becomes reality.

All is not lost however. Since we are only talking about clothes and not some deeply rooted belief or a change to your ethical, religious or moral code, doesn’t it stand to reason it would be the easiest thing to change for us to alter the perception people have of us? So instead of looking the part of a drug dealer or corner whore, take out the piercings, buy some clothes that actually fit and take off the stupid straight brimmed hat so people can actually see your eyes and I guarantee you’ll see people warm up to you faster. (at least they wont cross the street when they see you coming the other way.)

You have one chance to make an impression and you don’t have long to make it. So if you choose to look like the thugs we all see on TV, don’t complain when you get treated like one. And if you really insist on wearing those sweatpant shorts that say Juicy across the butt to your Graduation, I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for the job offers to start rolling in.

Give yourself every chance to succeed and you just might.